It’s called Show Us Your Crits, and we’re playtesting the 5e supplement Erotic Adventures. I think of it as being in a similar genre as, say, the Kushiel’s Dart series by Jacqueline Carey, if that helps you get an idea of what we’re up to. On that note: I won’t post anything too graphically sexual (this isn’t the place for that, obviously) but the campaign is definitely intended to involve sexual themes and such. Moreover, it is intended to focus on kinky sexualities. If that isn’t your thing, I fully understand. Again, this write-up will remain as SFW as I can make it, considering what the game is.
Our DM is JayCee. The game and the stream were his idea, as a spinoff project from his kink-and-geek-culture Alternative Play Podcast
The players and characters include:
- Charmscale, the author of Erotic Adventures, who plays Aster Rowan. Aster is a proselytizing priest of the genderfluid sex-god Ailuros who hails from an Imperial (that is, variant human) colony planted amid the jungles on the southern coast of Thy-Nun. She is a lucky star (one of the classes from Erotic Adventures), of the lucky lover subclass.
- Liz plays Zara, the chaotic good half-orc War cleric of Athanasia the Holy Warrior. Her ancestors were orcs from their realm of Chi-Tau, whose culture is vaguely Japanese/Mongolian, but she grew up in a colony in the Viking-themed land of Polaris.
- Pat O’Sullivan plays Damon Fanny, a variant human fighter and member of the Guild of Courtesans. Growing up in Kalyn (which resembles 13th-century Britain and King Louis’s France, depending on your socioeconomic class), which sits near the islands of Kryton ruled by sentient velociraptors, he always wanted to ride a dinosaur like the inhabitants of those islands.
- I (who go by many names, one of which is Gandalfina, and they/them or fey/fem/fear pronouns), am playing Yasath Lasl bes Zettai Mokjirok bes Uten Tenj bes Ankhisset Vej no-Dulanei ta-Zekhimat (pronouns: per/pers), a swashbuckling elegant submissive and duelist. Per two occupations are often joined. as per contracted Dominant have per fight as their champion in duels. This is quite different from per childhood among per father’s undead-worshipping cult, descended from a Kharad-Dumi expedition.
Our campaign is set in the Sky-Realms of Khazar, created by JayCee and Michael Smith. Originally a floating flat earth seeded by a group of dragons with peoples of many kinds from across the universe, including several from Earth, the draconic Old Gods ruled it by means of an empire called the Khazar Imperium. However, the Imperium began to believe that they were more than agents of the dragon-gods’ will, ruling with absolute power and claiming the rights and titles of their former masters. In vengeance, the dragons slammed themselves into the world, shattering it and sending its pieces to float in the void.
All the water drained away, but ingenious mortals invented airships that traverse among these landmasses even unto this day. The Imperium came to be defeated in a war soon after this disaster, marking the floating continents with its trappings. Though it lost that war, it has survived to this day, a shadow of its former self that still manages to be a major player on the international scene with the largest armies and most sophisticated airships. Incredibly xenophobic, they are known to capture, torture, and kill by the forever falling any foreigners who touch foot upon their territory. Which is to say that they throw them off the edge of the continent.
We open in one of the many bathhouses in the city of Nyssa on the small floating continent of Myyrin, a former Imperial city with all the remnants of Imperial culture, such as a reliance on high columns in its architecture and an abundance of places like this. Still a place of culture and with a great marketplace, it is ruled by the Four Mage Towers. The nobles and upper classes here still have Imperium blood and have kept many of their ancestors’ ways. This includes a highly sexual society, interpreting all of their gods through a lens of sex, pleasure, and fertility. Their muscles ripple beneath dark swarthy skin, more muscularly defined than other humans, whom they tower over. Straight dark hair hangs beside brown eyes for most of them, and they are all, to a one, incredibly beautiful and none have ever seen them to be indignant.
Lucia Mausia Flaccus, a Mistress of the Red Tower, has summoned her admired friends Aster, Zara, and Damon to this bathhouse. Her messenger told them to enjoy the baths and food, and that she would come to tell them of a task she would like them to fulfill. The bathhouse is clean, and well-tended by the slaves. A collection of Myyrini nobles and other upper-class types sit, stand, and pose throughout its waters and steps, seeking refuge from the heat of the day ~ which is hovering somewhere north of 100℉/38℃ ~ and admiring each other’s physiques. Most, no doubt, are sizing up those around them for the possibility of a moment in the bathhouse’s alcoves. Personal assignations or private drug trips are the business to be had in those tiny rooms.
Aster, naked but for the whip hanging from a belt on her waist, is walking around this crowd, asking each person who pays her the slightest bit of attention if they have heard the good word of Ailuros. Enough have responded with interest that she has gathered a bit of a crowd around herself. Those interested in what she is preaching kneel or sit in a semicircle around her, while behind them circle those who simply wish to gawk at her beauty, all blushes and elbows in each other’s ribs. Myyrini culture is incredibly polytheistic, with a nigh infinite number of gods both large and small, so they have no cultural barrier to her teachings. Aster quotes two of Ailuros’s texts ~ the Slutty Sermon by Father Ridon and the Cock and Cleavage Codex ~ interspersing them with quotes from the Book of Pleasure, their core text. A miniature orgy kicks up around her as these holy words inspire an orgiastic frenzy among her listeners, bringing the two factions of her audience together.
Meanwhile, a fully nude Damon is kicking back, relaxing after a night of rough trade. He scans the bathhouse for the Myyrrini equivalent of poppers. He keeps his distance from Aster’s orgy, unwilling to wait in line for the chance to participate, despite being intrigued by what she is preaching. Especially if these sweaty people aren’t paying him for his time. It isn’t hard for him to find a drug dealer, as they are well-known, blatant, and welcomed in Myyrrini culture as long as they don’t sell the few drugs illegal here, such as the powerful narcotics imported by the Dwendari. It is said that many never return from the high those provide. Damon sees an older human in a fashionable, older-style Imperium toga with little vials on his belt and salt-and-pepper hair. As Damon watches, couples run up to the man to purchase one of those vials before running off to an alcove together.
And this was the first roll of the evening, a Perception roll to find a drug dealer. Welcome to our campaign.
As it plays over the people haunting the bathhouse, Damon’s eye catches on another man, one who seems out of place; the only reason he’d be so overdressed in a place like this would be to clean his clothes while he bathed. More even than their unique abundance, the nature of the clothes marks him out as from somewhere else: it isn’t in the Imperial style but rather includes a big jabot, lace protruding from every hole, and a tight-fitting vest of red velvet with tails. Obviously Kalynish, he wears a wig perched upon a white powdered face with a fashionable mole which may or may not be real. No one would call him pretty; he’s so clownishly powdered and make-upped up that the good looks beneath all the artifice are simply not visible. Nonetheless, Damon’s eye, also raised in Kalyinish culture, can see that he is, indeed, quite attractive. The man stalks around the bathhouse, scoping out the action. Clearly, he seeks someone or something for reasons other than the expected lustful ones.
Zara is also watching the others who sit around the bathhouse, waiting for a submissive to bring out her Dominant side. She wears a white cloak, leaving it to hang from her broad half-orcish shoulders open but not flagrantly so, and has her mace strapped hidden behind her, hanging over her butt to look like a strange tail when she walks. Attractive as half-orcs go ~ an acquired taste, to be sure ~ heads have nonetheless turned in her direction, drawn by her exotic appearance.
Their idylls are interrupted when six guards come marching down the steps, completely nude except for four things: a red toga small enough to be a sash, small shields in one hand, spears in the other, and locked metal collars marked with some sort of symbol. Their floppy bits, well, flop, and they form a V shape, leaving a space open in the middle. Down the middle of their military formation walks Lucia Macia Flaccus herself. She wears a loincloth stiff with embroidery, high strap sandals, and intricate nipple caps on her breast marked with the same symbol that adorns the guards’ collars. A scarf comes up over her head to form a veil, while anklets and bracelets form the last of her clothing.
Following the noblewoman walks what appears to be a strange short dwarf with cat ears, a pink beard and pink fur in patches across per skin. This dwarf keeps position seemingly without effort, slightly behind the left-handed Mistress Lucia on her right side, per hands in a submissive position behind per back. A tattoo of a giant butterfly rests over per left eye, while writing follows the line of per lower eyelid, also tattooed. Beneath the butterfly on per left are the jagged lines of Dvergarin (Dwarfish) runes, while beneath the other are the more flowing lines of Dharian hieroglyphics. Per is dressed in a manner almost reminiscent of the odd noble that caught Damon’s eye, with an elaborate rapier on per belt on one side and a handaxe on the other. Soft butch in presentation, per does not bind and is very buxom. This chubbiness marks the rest of per beautiful body, concentrating in per thighs and ass.
Lucia snaps her fingers and one of the guards places a pillow upon the ground. Two extended fingers stand atop the upturned palm of her other hand and then bend so that the knuckles replace her fingertips against that palm. The dwarf ~ Yasath Lasl ~ takes the instruction to kneel on the pillow in a position meant for listening, palms atop knees facing up and head bowed.
Lucia looks back at the guards as they start to move forward and shakes her head. A smile and a wink and a motion summons first Damon, and then Zara, to her. Amidst a sea of swirling bodies, Aster requires a bit more of an effort; Lucia approaches her to give a wicked grin and an arm around her body to steer her away from the sea of bodies surrounding her. They don’t stop; Aster has created an event that isn’t going to stop any time soon.
“I see you have been preaching to the masses again,” Lucia drawls to the evangelist.
Aster replies, “Yes, yes, I have. It is a very enjoyable activity.”
As she walks Aster along, Lucia throws an impatient look toward a slow-walking Zara, but her innate fear of the half-orc’s culture and strength restricts her reaction to just a small look. “I might have to have you come out to the estate when the weather gets a little cooler. Perhaps you can proselytize there, and I think it would be quite wonderful what you can cause to happen. And then, plus: the heathens in my house . . . they need the religion anyway.”
If you had an “umm . . . “ reaction to Lucia’s feelings here, don’t worry. I did, too.
By the time this brief exchange of words is concluded, they have come to where Damon stands, Zara arriving just a moment later. “So. I have gathered you here today on a couple of things.” At this point, she looks over to the man who stands out both in the style and amount of his clothing. He gives a sign of recognition in her direction, as if this is who he was looking for, and foppishly strides over to join everyone.
“It has been a while, my friends,” Lucia says. “Please, regale me: what have you been doing since we last met? Damon, you have to have done something quite brilliant. At least taken something down, or taken some heads, or leaped off a ship. Please tell me, what have you been up to?”
Damon tells her about joining the Guild of Courtesans, and presents a letter from a wealthy noble in whose employ he has worked as bodyguard and rentboy over the last couple months. He has found success with both, and offers gratitude for being able to come to the island. This is, after all, where the clientele he seeks ~ Imperials ~ reside. He thanks Lucia for the opportunity and the invitation, saying that it is in keeping with his plans as well as nice to see her again.
She takes his hand and kisses it up to the elbow. “Yes, it is always good to see you, Damon, but today I might give you an opportunity to show another of your skills.” She turns to Zara. “My very,” she looks as if she is struggling to find the word, “my friend, how have you been?”
“Very well. I have been travelling the land, visiting many temples. A cleric by day, a courtesan by night, so I don’t necessarily stay in my temple. Been enjoying myself, enjoying meeting new people and new cultures, broadening my mind. And using my paddle.”
Lucia smiles at that and once again kisses her hand up to the elbow. “And I can see that Aster has been still getting herself into a bit of pleasurable trouble! But is there anything you need to regale me with, anything I should know?”
“Oh, I’ve started researching the Dildo of Truth, the Lost Dildo of Truth,” Aster responds brightly.
“Ah, yes, yes, yes. And have you found a location or, at least, a—”
“Ailuros’s ten commandments were written on the Dildo of Truth when she sent it down from the heavens. It is the source of the ten commandments in the Book of Pleasure!”
“Perhaps I might have to fund that journey when the time comes and you can get a crew large enough to take on that task. But perhaps you’ll be making some friends today that might last. So. The reason I have brought you here is twofold. One, to introduce you to someone I have taken a great interest in over, we’ll say, a short time period. Someone who is not usually of my court, but someone whom I have heard great things about, someone who is a pleaser. And that, to me, pleases me. Yasath is going to be promised eventually to a noble from the Jade Empire. However, the warlord ~ well, noble, if I want to use that term interchangeably with that culture ~ is wanting someone who is a little bit more seasoned, someone a little more sturdy, so I have taken it on as my charge to help per learn a little bit more about the world and put that little bit of excitement and adventure into per. And I couldn’t think of anyone, or any group, that I would trust more with this task, than you. You don’t all have to thank me at once.”
Yup. Our patroness is a racist. Great.
Damon barks out a laugh, saying, “Thank you. You’re not wrong.”
“I’ve got nothing better to do.” Aster’s voice doesn’t betray the obvious enthusiasm the rest of her body does for the idea.
“Well, good. I’m glad that we are all in agreement. By doing this, you will gain a little bit more favor with me, which will be a good thing when you are soon needing to fund your ventures. The Dildo itself is very intriguing; we shall talk about that soon and begin plotting it out. I might be able to get a crew and an airship, depending on what realm it may lay on and where it needs to go. But that is something we can talk about a little bit later.”
The overly-dressed gentleman begins to approach as Lucia turns to Yasath, asking, “Is there anything you would like to say on your behalf, before I introduce you to your teachers?”
Yasath looks at each in turn with soft eyes that seem to take in all of them without gaining the sharp hardness of a penetrating gaze. “I do hope to do you honor as teachers, by learning well.”
Remembering what it was to once be a student, Damon responds kindly.
Lucia smiles and looks at Damon before looking at everyone else. She shrugs her shoulders and calls forth the Kalynish nobleman. Lucia steps back to allow him to step forward and say, “I am glad to make your acquaintance, good people. I am Lord Breccan Graysong, and I have a business to the north of here in the port of Arcadia. It is a beautiful, blooming port town. While yes, there are some ruffians about, which just kind of really send me . . . give me shivers thinking about it. However, there are other endeavours there that are worthwhile; there are many pleasures to be found there. It is on the northern shore of Myyrin, facing the Imperium, so there’s still a lot of the Imperium flavor to the port town. I have recently just invested some money in a renovation of a series of taverns. However, one of the taverns that is there is not quite, hmm, is not doing what it needs to do, if that makes any sense. People are going there and having, well, bad experiences. Some claim that it’s haunted.” Yasath’s ear perks up at this and per cocks per head. “Some claim that they see things move, that they’ve had food that started bleeding. Umm, all kinds of just, mmm. horrid things, and if I’m . . . . There is a reward for helping me get to the bottom of what is going on. There’s only one owner, and as far as I know, his wife had passed away, oh, some months ago. Perhaps maybe a year. I dont keep track of these things. And he runs it with his daughter. However, I need to know what’s going on. I’m about to buy the set of buildings which that inn is a part of, and he would become—I would become his landlord, but if his businesses aren’t profitable, then that doesn’t make me money, and obviously I can’t afford to live in the lavish style that I am accustomed to. I would be shamed if I had to wear dirty lace or, heaven forbid, not have my accoutrements, so you can see where there’s a dilemma here and this must be taken care of immediately, and the good Mistress Lucia has said that you are, mmm, are people who can handle things. I think the word she used is . . .”
She interrupts, “Troubleshooters, Your Grace. They are troubleshooters.”
“Yes, that’s the word. It’s quite quaint for ‘mercenary’, but either/or. I’m sure it’s interchangeable. I’m willing to pay you a total of 300 of this realm’s coin in gold if you were to travel to the port city of Arcadia and take a look at what is going on with, with, um, the problem I am having. Do we have an agreement? Can I count on you to take on this job?”
“Well, certainly,” Aster replies. “There’s actually an exorcism in the Book of Pleasure. I’ll need a bell, a book, and a dildo.”
He grabs his handkerchief to wipe some sweat. The bathhouse setting itself and all that is going on there doesn’t seem to make him uncomfortable, but he definitely does seem to espress some discomfort at this. A little sweaty, he has to daub his face with his little lace handkerchief.
Yasath is the next to speak, saying, “Maintaining relationships between the dead and the living was the work of my father and the group that raised me. It would be an honor to do this.”
Lord Graysong smiles as he looks at the two most eager to serve him in this way, then looks over Damon’s naked body. “My, you’re a strapping young man! Do you know how to use a weapon, boy, and not the one between your legs?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Good, good.” His eyes move to Zara. First his eyes meet her breast line, as the 6’4” half-orc towers over him, and then drags his eyes up to her face. “I don’t know what to say . . . except that you’re hired? I’m sure that if I handed you something sharp, or blunt, or whatever . . . . Now, granted, as the, as our, uhh, as our, our bastet,” he shifts his voice for a moment t talk over his shoulder at Yasath Lasl without turning his head, “and I apologize to you if I am not too familiar with your, with your kind, but umm . . . .” He returns his voice to the pillar of flesh before him. “Yes, this may be something where we need you to do a séance and speak to the dead. Or chase them away. Or there could be something else afoot. That city is incredibly old, and there are many things . . . . Just, all I will say is that it is a city built upon a city built upon a city built upon a city over the ages, so who knows what lays in the layers underneath.” He turns to speak to all four. “But if we can agree to the coin, I will go ahead and set you up aboard the airship The Raging Queen, under Captain Longwhisper, and you should be off in a day or two, depending on how much time you need to get ready.”
Yup, more racism gets thrown at our half-orc. Looks like that will be a bit of a theme in our campaign.
Aster leans forward, flashing a bit of titty, to suggest, “Y’know, if you want quality service, you need quality payment.” The line gets a cocked eyebrow from Yasath.
Yasath cocking per head and eyebrow might also become a theme of the campaign . . . .
Lord Graysong looks at Aster and says, “From what I understand, you’re quite an experience, but I just need this problem taken care of. I will, I’ll front everyone 50 of your gold coin, uh, here in this realm as a—on top of what I’ve offered. But no more. Otherwise I can go hire some street thugs and do this for a lot less. I am doing this as a favor to Mistress Lucia Flaccus.”
Ailuros’s proselyte leans back with a pleased smile on her face. “Well, we definitely appreciate it. I think the exorcism I was thinking of requires a bi priest and a straight priest, so maybe we can’t use the bell, book, and candle. I mean, dildo.”
“I know, I know nothing of your ways here in this realm. I must return to my own, but I will say that, um, I will leave the coin with your Mistress and I will . . . .” Lord Graysong moves his side cape aside to reveal a series of red velvet bags on his belt. He takes forever jiggling coins around very delicately, being quite dainty as he divides them among the bags. “This coin matches that coin, and . . . .”
And here I make my first game-mechanical mistake playing Yasath Lasl, both of which involve forgetting that lucky stars are able to cast a few spells. Just three cantrips at first level, mind you, but/and one of mine is the spell detect attractions and repulsions from Erotic Adventures. As it requires no components, there is literally no reason Yasath Lasl wouldn’t have cast it before saying what per is about to say. Except that I forgot it was a possibility >.< I did, however, roll an Insight check to discover if he had any ulterior motives or hidden information, but it only turned up that he was a rather shady character in general. Nothing specific to this job.
As he counts out the money, Yasath purrs, “Lord Graysong, quality service is my way, regardless of price, and my teachers have charged you more. Perhaps there are more . . . private services I could provide for you in exchange for that extra cost?”
Here followed some discussion of Erotic Adventures’s seduction and attraction rules, which involve a series of things that will make one more (or less) interested and attempt to involve both people’s particular interests to bear mechanically. In the end, we decided to go with a relatively simple on my part of Persuasion + both mine and Lord Graysong’s Appearance modifiers (which were both +3) versus . . . well, I don’t rightly remember what Lord Graysong rolled >.< I rolled a 4, plus 10, but he rolled a 17. No luck on my attempt to learn more about my employer.
The Kalynish noble looks at the Dharian bastet with a curious, but refrained, look in his eye. “Unfortunately, my trip to Myyrin has, umm—doesn’t allow me for such, uh, for such a side track. Perhaps some other time.” He smiles and lets down his handkerchief as a sign of appreciation, before once again dabbing the sides of his mouth and the sweat on his face.
“Perhaps, my lord,” Yasath Lasl replies, “your nights on the rough beds of the airship back to your home might be made more comfortable by the thought that you bear some credit in my book that can be cashed in at a later date.”
“Yes, that, that sounds more pleasing.” He smiles a big smile, revealing a little lipstick on his teeth as the kneeling dwarf gives a very visible grin at the word “pleasing”. Per makes it a point not to move, but just to show pleasure with a swashbuckler’s wide grin.
Mistress Lucia smiles and asks, “Well, how long do you need before you’re ready to go?”
Aster answers, “I have very little packing to do, so I can be ready probably, I don’t know, tomorrow morning.”
“Yes, it would take the, the captain, Captain Longwhisper probably in the morning to load up what they’re taking from this port to go to the next, anyway, so, um, enjoy the evening.” He hands each person a pouch. All are experienced in this realm, and gauge the value of the coins within by the weight and size of the bag. None are so gauche as to open it or jiggle them. It does indeed seem to be the promised amount. “Well, I wish—I bid you good journey. I will have a delicateur waiting for you when you return with the news, and, um, I wish you well and, uh, the captain will be waiting for you in the morning. Your passage has been paid for: first class in the ship. While the trip is not a long one, I would still prefer that anyone that I hire be in comfort and reflect well on me and it will reflect well on you.” He moves to join Mistress Flaccus. They turn and leave, the guards following and leaving the pillow underneath Yasath Lasl’s knees.
Then we had an extended talk about the cultural geography of the setting, as we established each character’s native culture.
Yasath Lasl rises after Mistress Flaccus has left, and looks over in Aster’s direction to inquire, “You said something about needing ritual implements for the exorcism?”
“Yes. A bell, a book, and a dildo. I’ve already got a dildo.”
“But you do not possess the other two?”
“No, no. I need a bell, and I need a book. Preferably one of Ailuros’s holy texts, but apparently any book will work.”
“With the consent of my other teachers, perhaps I shall accompany you to do that shopping?’
“Uh, yeah, yeah, that sounds, that sounds like a good idea. What do you others say?”
Zara allows Damon to have the first reply. “Sure. Are we, are we all gonna split up now, you think? I mean, it’s important that you—do you need assistance from us to get your other two items, or do you think you got this?”
“Probably not? I mean, there’s a big marketplace pretty nearby and they probably got bells and they probably got books.”
The priest finally rouses herself to speak. “I’d like to accompany you.”
“Yeah, I’ll go with,” Damon adds.
Aster agrees with a simple, “Okay.”
Yasath Lasl waits patiently as the three who had been enjoying the baths get themselves dressed once more, each including their armor, and the foursome heads to the marketplace, looking for secondhand book stores. The ancient marketplace sprawls over a large area. Some of the buildings have crumbled since the Imperium left, but there are many buildings that house various shops, as well as some open areas with a series of tents and other temporary structures. Just outside the borders of the marketplace itself circle farmers’ markets or the kind of suspicious merchants that hawk things that are there one day and not there the other. There are people around, but it is late afternoon. Usually, by this time, most of the customer crowd are sequestered in restaurants or in the shops. The heat of the day has only exacerbated this effect, so there’s not a lot of people milling around.
Aster used the Not Just a Pretty Face feat from Erotic Adventures, which allows her to use her Appearance bonus with Perception instead of her Wisdom. However, she failed, while Damon succeeded and both Zara and Yasath Lasl critted.
Distracted by her reflection in some glass, in love with herself and measuring herself up, Aster admires her own titties and stops every once in a while as admirers come up to gawk at her beauty, seeking but a look or a smile. But the rest of the group is looking around to find a bookseller, and quickly notice that they’ve been followed ever since they’d reached the marketplace. Yasath Lasl’s hand is on per rapier as per looks around to notice that per is not the only one to have seen. Zara walks over, hovering outside Aster’s crowd as protection, while Yasath Lasl turns around to face their followers, forming a small wall with Damon.
Three men, dressed in the ragged clothes of street urchins and with the bulging bags at their belt that mark them out as thieves, had been following the four. They lack the badges identifying official members of the Thieves’ Guild, and walk toward our heroes with obvious intent.
Yasath Lasl conveys with per stance and face per sees them and is ready, but has edited out any direct threat, hoping not to increase the chances combat breaks out. Damon, instead, walks directly toward them. “Gentlemen, can you point me in the direction of the nearest outhouse?”
One of them, with broken teeth and very warty skin, steps forward. Seemingly the leader of the group, he wears his tattered cowl pulled half back. “The only thing that you’re gonna be releasing, my friend, is the coins on your belt. Maybe I’ll take that thing between your legs as a trophy, too, and wear it.”
And the first combat of the campaign started. Of course, I had plenty of time to cast true strike, but I forgot I had that cantrip, or any cantrips at all >.<
The thieves throw back their cloaks to reveal Dharian scimitars and patchwork leather armor strapped onto their dirty bodies. Damon draws his longsword in response and slashes at the one who spoke to him. Sadly, the thief anticipates his blow and handily avoids both this one and a followup swing of his handaxe in his offhand. Damon does manage to look like a badass, but he does miss.
Zara turns back around and runs past Damon to preotect her guildmate. As she runs, she reaches back over her shoulder and grabs the mace that has been carefully lanyarded to the back of her body. She brings it down in a swing over her head, wincing as it whistles through empty air and shoving it back in a brutal backswing that lands solidly. Pieces of bone and eye and everything else inside a skull go flying as it is just crushed. The rest of the rogue’s body drops to the ground and begins convulsing.
Zara critted again, rolling 17 points for damage. Two crits in one combat, once on Perception and the other to hit with a second attack. RNGesus loved Liz that night.
Damon tilts his hat, laughing, to Zara, as the dead man’s two friends, unamused, move in to swing their scimitars. One swings his scimitar at Zara, and while it connects, the force of the blow completely slides off her armor. The other one approaches Damon, looking pretty confident; after all, his opponent isn’t the giant half-orc who just collapsed his friend’s skull. He attacks, slamming his scimitar into one of Damon’s leather greaves and bouncing off.
Yasath Lasl unsheathes per rapier while running forward behind per two teachers. A leap allows per to land a foot on Damon’s side, from which position per jumps over to lands a foot on Zara’s side. The strong and sure, if temporary, footing gifted per by the priest’s muscled flank allows per to leap forward, extending the exquisite weapon in per hand into a full flying lunge at the nearest thief. Per spears the one that had attacked Damon right through the heart, landing on his face and riding his body down as gravity does its usual job. Yasath Lasl tugs per rapier out from the corpse as per rolls and comes up in a ready crouch facing back at the fray. The body looks up wide-eyed as blood starts pouring from its mouth and its nose, the death-gurgle bubbling that blood as he dies. The dwarfin child of a monk draws a hieroglyph in his forehead, saying a quick prayer in Dharian.
I critted again! Zara and Yasath ~ the 6’4” half-orc and the 3’11” dwarf catgirl ~ were the Crit Twins with two each. Praise RNGesus!
Aster finally manages to extract herself from her crowd of admirers, drawing her whip as she does so, and cracks that whip in the direction of the remaining thief, slicing a painful, oozing line across his chest. He yet stands, though he is not looking very happy. In fact, he looks as if he’s about to run away, but Damon reaches out to grapple him. A nimble leap evades Damon’s strong arms, and the two end up dancing a circle around each other.
Weirdly this was not an exercise in mechanical masochism like grappling usually is. Good job 5e!
Zara walks over and grabs the scruff of the thief’s neck, picking him up off the ground. He manages to wiggle himself free almost immediately, however, and pivots to leap into flight. Literally the entire party tries to trip him as he runs away, three throwing their legs into his and one with her whip. It is Zara who succeeds, and he falls to the ground with Yasath Lasl’s rapier at his throat. He’s pinned, bleeding from the slash of the whip, laying next to his friend without a head and his friend whose eyes are wide open in that “Oh my gods, I’m dead” stare. Aster cracks the whip to sting against the thief’s skin, causing pain but no damage.
The prone thief pleads as Damon glowers above him, “Alright, alright, I have no reason ta, ta, ta keep information from such wonderful loving people who obviously—”
Dry shade slips from the lips of the desert-born Yasath Lasl. “You noticed.”
“Check the body,” Damon calls out. “Look for coin. Look for notes. Look for keys!”
As the captive looks up at us from the brick of the walkway with cold eyes, the pupils of his eyes go suddenly white. Another voice inflected with the tones of a Jade Empire accent floats from his mouth, saying, “My benefactor wishes you all to fail at the task at hand. I am not the only and last one.” His eyes return to the color they had been before as he starts bleeding from his ears and convulsing.
And that is where the session ended! Our next session is the 7th on Plexstorm, and I’ll post a write-up of that session sometime around the 14th!
