Tuesday, March 30, 2021

I return triumphantly to streaming with ANOTHER game of A Place to Fuck Each Other!

 THIS THURSDAY at 8pm EDT/5pm PDT on the Alternative Play (formerly Show Us Your Crits) Plexstorm channel, I will be playing Avery Alder and an sheep's storygame A Place to Fuck Each Other with two other transwomen!!!


It was one of the best RPG experiences of my life when we did it last year, and checked something off my bucket list, so I cannot tell you how hard I'm squeeing about this!


The game is a diceless story game that avoids the temptation to use genre conventions to give queer relationships more agency than we actually have, and explores the ways in which we manage to find and build love in a world where we can only ever get 75% of our needs met.  More on it at https://buriedwithoutceremony.com/aplacetofuckeachother


Come check it out at https://www.plexstorm.com/stream/alternativeplay

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Why Are There Three Nations of Bird-Folk in Presterjho? (Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition)

My humblest thanks go out to my patrons Keeper, Darius, Dave, and Ferny.  They, and my many lovely donors who give a dollar a month, are the reason I keep posting.  Please join them at my Patreon ~ 10% of all my patronage goes right back out to other Patreon creators!  If you want to find me on any social medium, you can find links to me everywhere on the net by visiting my Linktree.  I just started Tokking my Tiks (or is that Tikking my Toks?) and I'd love more company over there!

The Location of the Nations

    Across Tilruur's eastern border lie a total of four nations, though one accounts for the majority of its length.  In the northeast, the buffalo minotaurs share two very short borders with the mountainous realms of the ӑӑrākòcrááá.  Both then bloom forth to the west, widening and extending towards the coast (though neither meets it).  Zǎǎrsàhwááákn'ìì-nāān'-Òòhthír (pronounced /zaː˦˩ɾsa̤˨waːː˦kniː˨naː˧n̪o̤ː˨θi˦ɾ/) sits humped in the north, its entire southern border resting upon the back of T'yííílgěhsh-nāān'-Òòhthír, which crooks to the south halfway down its length to meet the land where the animals talk.  Buun et Ati-Bexaacu (pronounced /buːnɛtʌtibɛɖaːħu/) is tucked in between Zǎǎrsàhwááákn'ìì-nāān'-Òòhthír and the shore, sharing no border at all with the other nation of the bird-folk.

    The Holbytlano colony of Habatlas borders Buun et Ati-Bexaacu to the southeast and Zǎǎrsàhwááákn'ìì-nāān'-Òòhthír to the east.  The tiny border between Zǎǎrsàhwááákn'ìì-nāān'-Òòhthír and the nation of Doresain, home to dwarf and ghoul monks, prevents T'yííílgěhsh-nāān'-Òòhthír from quite connecting with the halfling colonists.  Doresain does share the entirety of T'yííílgěhsh-nāān'-Òòhthír's eastern border, however.

    The northern border of the region of Presterjho runs along that of Tilruur, Zǎǎrsàhwááákn'ìì-nāān'-Òòhthír, and Buun et Ati-Bexaacu.

The Origins of the Ӑӑrākòcrááá

    In very ancient times, the northern land of Taweret ~ considered not part of Presterjho at all, but of Scarhas ~ was not ruled by the giff who rule it today, nor by the sphinxes they killed to achieve their liberty and sovereignty.  Instead, it was ruled by the aven race, both those with the head of ibises and those whose heads were like the hawk.  In ages past, they fell beneath the heavy razor-tipped paws and binding riddles of the sphinxes, and as they did so, a conspiracy of ibis-headed aven gathered beyond the southern borders of their nation with a fanatic urge to preserve their culture's knowledge.  The hawk-headed aven were too proud to follow them to the northeastern corner of Presterjho, just along the shore of a storm-abating gulf, and wasted themselves in an obviously lost war.  

    After taking some decades to establish themselves, the ibis-headed aven performed a great and grand ritual to resurrect the other half of their race within themselves.  Several ibis-headed mothers of all genders gave the eggs they were incubating, and others gave their own bodies, to be transformed into this lost nobility.  The result of this ritual was not as they expected, flooding the subjects with avian energy instead of changing what was there into a different form.  Both hawk and ibis struggled to shape each body, birthing the ӑӑrākòcrááá, beings whose entire body was avian, rather than just the head; moreover, it was an awkward mix of the two animals that lacked the grace of either. This new nation of Buun et Ati-Bexaacu drove the race they had created from their lands for the shame of being both, driving them into the mountains whither the aven couldn't follow as quickly or easily.

The Heavenly Treasure Chest

    Once, the ӑӑrākòcrááá were ruled by a queen, and one among their number, the queen Thèhbāā thought her queendom rich and powerful.  However, one day a rhonian merchant called Tamrin told her about the wisdom of the the orange dragon Ay'lonit, the Shadow King of the eponymous city-state.  He also described the beautiful great temple that Ay'lonit had built to house his Shadow Brides.

    Queen Thèhbāā decided to visit the Shadow King and arrived with an abundance of gifts.  Her purpose was to try and corner him with difficult questions all of which Ay'lonit answered to her satisfaction.  She stayed a while before returning to her queendom, and though little is said of how rare she herself was, she is known to be one of only two women to have become a Shadow Bride and not spent her life as an enforcer of Ay'lonit's will and a priestess of his divinity.  Upon her return, she discovered that she was pregnant with the First Orange Dragon's child.  A handsome, if strange-looking, boy was born, and she named him Néhnēlíhk.

    When Néhnēlíhk grew up he wanted to know who his father was and was told that it was the Shadow King.  Néhnēlíhk wanted to meet his father and went to Ay'lonit for a visit.  Upon his return from the Dragon Cities, he was accompanied by extra servants and other dragonborn, of which one was a Shadow Bride herself.  The Shadow Bride stole the greatest prize in Ay'lonit's hoard ~ the Heavenly Treasure Chest he had looted in an ancient assault upon the Heavens themselves ~ and exchanged it for a replica Ay'lonit had gifted his son.  She only told Néhnēlíhk about this once they had left Ay'lonit.  Shadow King also found out that the Chest was stolen and chased after Néhnēlíhk, but could not overtake him.  Néhnēlíhk kept the Heavenly Treasure Chest in a special place; legend has it that this was the Church of Diwad in Kìhr-Sǎǎǎd'āāhl, which like all ӑӑrākòcrááá buildings had been carved from the top to the bottom all in a single piece from the mountain.  Ӑӑrākòcrááá architects know nought of masonry or of joining.

The Schism Among the Ӑӑrākòcrááá

    In this special place, the ӑӑrākòcrááá kept the Heavenly Treasure Chest on display, arrogant in their unintentional acquisition.  They bid people come from many distances to view what they proclaimed to be the reclamation of a prize stolen from the Heavens by a flagrant villain.  Even after Ay'lonit sent his armies, Shadow Wives at its head astride his orange-scaled children and soldiers marching lockstep behind the racing chariots, to reclaim the Chest, the ӑӑrākòcrááá did this.  They also showered gifts upon the buffalo minotaurs who had helped them deflect the Shadow King's vengeful attack.

    Nothing would convince the ӑӑrākòcrááá to abate this arrogance, though many tried with reasoned argument and magical appeal to the Heavens.  It wasn't until a foreign prince in love with the Rabbit King of the Moon he had met in his dreams chose the Heavenly Treasure Chest as his way to bend the Heavens to his besotted will that the ӑӑrākòcrááá began to see a problem.  This foreign prince visited Kìhr-Sǎǎǎd'āāhl on a diplomatic mission and, under the protective cover of a moonless night, crept into the display room where the Chest was.  With careful incantation and deft fingers, he stole from the chest three pyramids, one of Power, one of Courage, and one of Wisdom, and then fled with all his ministers before the sun could reveal his perfidy.

    As the rosy eye of dawn watched, the ӑӑrākòcrááá opened the Heavenly Treasure Chest to show its contents to the world.  Instead, they showed that they had lost these sacred things that had come under their protection.  Ashamed, they hid the Chest and its remaining contents somewhere they would not reveal, and began in earnest to discuss how best they could protect the Heavenly Treasure Chest.  As a first effort, the queen declared that only an elderly monk would be allowed to see and take care of the Chest.  This monk would not ever leave the small yard that surrounds whichever chapel held the prize, and they are expected to name their successor on their deathbed. 

    Two factions developed among the bird-folk, eventually cleaving the nation into two and forcing mass migrations in every direction as one country became two.  The faction that became the nation of T'yííílgěhsh-nāān'-Òòhthír insisted that only through the purity of virtue could the Chest be kept safe.  After all, they reasoned, the treasures it contained came from the Heavens and only Heavenly behavior could protect it.  Zǎǎrsàhwááákn'ìì-nāān'-Òòhthír came to house the other group, who saw value and use in vice and sin, calling them "Fearsome Protectors".  Only they, claimed this second group, could do what was needed and be as intimidating as necessary to protect the Chest, if the fiends could be mastered and conquered and tricked into doing so.

    Both nations pursue lives of vigorous and honorable discipline, one to purge themselves of all negativity and the other to bend it to a virtuous will tempered all the stronger by temptation.  They share a long border.

Never Trust an Aven from Buun et Ati-Bexaacu

    The nation of Buun et Ati-Bexaacu was founded out of a dedication to the ultimate value of knowledge above all other values and out of a desperation to preserve that knowledge in the face of a conquering obfuscation.  It is because of this marriage of virtues that few trust the aven of this small nation.  Their reputation for using any tactic to gain knowledge they have not tucked away in the massive library-tombs buried in the mountains to the north and south of its central desert is well-earned.  Trickery, gambling, con games, and even outright theft are all quite appropriate in the eyes of the aven, if they win some scrap of unarchived knowledge.  This perfidy has bred distrust of the aven throughout Presterjho.

    Among the aven, there is an archetype called in their language sebaytili, a kind of rakish poet and diviner.  Sebaytiliu travel the lands, engaging in adventure after adventure, scrape after scrape, collecting stories and knowledge and not a few secrets along the way.  One of the most famous is the whip-wielding Yendna Djehanis, star of many a grand and exciting tale.  When possible, a sebaytili acquires a written copy of the knowledge they snatch from the clutches of oblivion to bring back to those library-tombs and musea, as well as building it into their poetry as densely as possible.  

    Neither the record nor its continuance in verse are hidden away from curious eyes; quite the opposite, in fact.  The eagerness with which the aven share the knowledge they hoard has done much to temper the viciousness of the prejudices spread about them.  That's not why they do it, of course.  Knowledge is not knowledge if it is not known; the less it is known, the less it is knowledge.  Though Buun et Ati-Bexaacu is perfectly willing to use force to protect what it holds, it prefers to trade access and education for their safety.

    Buunki poetry comes in several forms, composed by means of interlocking formulae of two different sorts.  The first, the wataad, comes in a few different types differentiated by the length of their verses and their meter.  Buunki meter is qualitative, rather than quantitative (that is: it works like English poetry, based on the stress put on the syllables, rather than Latin poetry, based on how long it takes to pronounce a syllable).  "Abundant" poetry (the oldest type) has a pattern of twelve syllables in three feet: the first two feet featuring an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable that then gives way to either a single stressed syllable or two unstressed, with the last syllable stressed.  In order to maintain the twelve syllables per verse, between the two variable syllables, one must be of each variation.  The last foot of the meter is an unstressed syllable followed by two stressed syllables.

    The most common wataad is "long" poetry, with fourteen syllables in four feet: one consisting of an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed and then a syllable of either type, followed by a foot of the same plus a stressed syllable at the end, then a third foot matching the first, and a final foot of four syllables alternating stressed and unstressed.  On the other hand, "swift" poetry has only two feet:  the first consisting of two syllables of any stress followed by an unstressed and then a stressed, and the second of an unstressed syllable between two stressed syllables.  

    "Dance-song" is marked by three feet of an unstressed and a stressed syllable followed by a syllable of either type, with a final syllable of an unstressed and a stressed syllable.  The meter of "milk-shaking-song" is quite variable; its first foot starts off with either a stressed syllable or two unstressed syllables followed by an unstressed syllable between two stressed, and its second foot also starts with two unstressed or one stressed but then quickly ends with a stressed syllable.  "Grinding-songs" put a foot of three syllables (one of either kind followed by an unstressed and then a stressed) between two feet with the same pattern plus an additional stressed syllable at the end of each.  "Children-songs" have a simple pattern of two feet, each putting two stressed syllables between an unstressed one before and one of either stress after.  The final type is "livestock-songs", with a single foot in each line, of the same pattern as the feet in "abundant" poetry.

    As can be seen in the names themselves, the first three wataandi are considered more literary, while the latter five are considered more popular or folk.  These patterns are then paired with a pattern of alliteration and rhyme, called a sabaab, which also determines how many verses are present in a given poem.  There are seven sabaanbi: elegy, praise, romance, diatribe, gloating, battle, and guidance.  The result is that Buunki poetry effectively has an exhaustive list of 56 different poetic forms, each highly structured, for the poet to utilize.

    All of this, in addition to the presence of the Holbytlano colony just across the border, has made Buun et At-Bexaacu the favored refuge of gnomes from Aoqina who hope to leave their life behind for whatever reason.  Gnomish criminals, malcontents, and outcasts have found a welcoming home aming the aven.

Game Mechanics

Orange dragonborn deal and are resistant to fire damage, but their breath weapon works differently from other dragonborn's.  The amount of damage is the same, but it takes the form of what is essentially a very sticky, oily loogy which can be spat upon any target within 60 feet as a ranged attack.  If the attack fails, randomly determine a square within 5 feet of the target for it to land.  Nothing else happens this round, or the next, but upon the start of the dragonborn's next turn, the loogy explodes, causing standard breath weapon damage to anyone within a 5-foot radius.  If it's stuck to someone, they don't get a saving throw to avoid the effects.  

Of course, those dragonborn in T'yííílgěhsh-nāān'-Òòhthír and Zǎǎrsàhwááákn'ìì-nāān'-Òòhthír are also born of an aarakocran heritage.  To represent that heritage, give them the following racial traits:
Awkward Foot-Claws.  Your base walking speed is 25 feet, rather than 30 feet.
Winged.  You have a flying speed of 30 feet while you aren’t wearing heavy armor.

Aarakocra-born aasimar represent their own particular subrace of aasimar, with the following traits:
Ability Score Increase.  Your Dexterity score increases by 1.
Awkward Foot-Claws.  Your base walking speed is 25 feet, rather than 30 feet.
Day Hunter.  You lack the Darkvision trait common to most aasimar.
Winged.  You have a flying speed of 30 feet while you aren’t wearing heavy armor.

Tieflings born among the aarakocra likewise constitute a subrace of tiefling, with the following traits:
Ability Score Increase.  Your Wisdom score increases by 1.
Awkward Foot-Claws.  Your base walking speed is 25 feet, rather than 30 feet.
Winged.  You have a flying speed of 30 feet while you aren’t wearing heavy armor.

The classes most associated with Buun et Ati-Bexaacu are:

  • Archivist artificer
  • Bard in the college of lore
  • Bard in the college of whispers
  • Knowledge cleric
  • Rune knight fighter
  • Timeless monumental fighter
  • Lingering soul with a calling of the spirit guardian
  • Monk on the way of the cobalt soul
  • Graverobber rogue
  • Phantom rogue
  • Researcher rogue
  • Thief rogue
  • Trapsetter rogue
  • Runechild sorcerer
  • Warlock of the accursed archive
  • Warlord of the eternal citadel
  • Abjurer wizard
  • Diviner wizard
  • Lore master wizard
  • Onomancer wizard
  • Order of scribes wizard
  • Ritualist wizard
  • Ruin warden wizard

The classes most associated with T'yííílgěhsh-nāān'-Òòhthír are:

  • Elder Sign cleric
  • Life cleric
  • Light cleric
  • Peace cleric
  • Protection cleric
  • Zeal cleric
  • Mystery warrior fighter
  • Monk on the way of mercy
  • Monk on the way of tranquility
  • Monk on the way of the sun soul
  • Monk on the way of the watchful gate
  • Noble from a lineage of myth
  • Paladin who took an oath of devotion
  • Paladin who took an oath of supremacy
  • Paladin who took an oath of the watchers
  • Inquisitive rogue
  • Divine soul sorcerer
  • Warlock of the celestial
  • Abjurer wizard
  • Theurge wizard

The classes most associated with Zǎǎrsàhwááákn'ìì-nāān'-Òòhthír are:

  • Bard in the college of whispers
  • Blood hunter of the profane soul
  • Elder Sign cleric
  • Trickery cleric
  • Twilight cleric
  • Druid in the circle of rue
  • Haunted fighter
  • Mystery warrior fighter
  • Monk on the way of the black star
  • Monk on the way of shadow
  • Monk on the way of the watchful gate
  • Bloody hands paladin
  • Paladin who took an oath of avarice
  • Paladin who took an oath of judgment
  • Paladin who took an oath of supremacy
  • Paladin who took an oath of treachery
  • Paladin who took an oath of the watchers
  • Assassin rogue
  • Inquisitive rogue
  • Thief rogue
  • Warlock of the fiend
  • Abjurer wizard