I think I'm gonna try the January character creation challenge, creating a new character for every day in January ~ I've never actually finished a monthlong challenge like this before XD (tried NaNoWriMo, National Poetry Month 30/30, and I think a few others a couple of times), so I'm looking forward to completing this one!
Lumpen Peebles
Character Sheet
Name: Lumpen Peebles Alignment: chaotic good Type: humanoid
Pronouns: nay / none / nix / nix / noneself Homeland: Santa’s Workshop, the North Pole
Background: Earthspur miner Lineage: coal (earth) genasi Size: Small
Age: 31 years old Weight: 225 lb. Gender: neuter Eyes: embers
Hair: none Height: 4’0”
Personality Traits: I speak, I move, with all the rumbling inexorability of underground coal deposits migrating, but you can still sense the ember-seeds of a conflagration deep within. Old family tales told to all of us when we were but dustlings tell that, though our flesh be rock and our stones bone, the ancestors of our ancestors’ ancestors walked heavy and huge and feathered upon the impossibly antique Earth; I have always wondered about them and about how we came to be small and craggy.
Ideals: All gifts should be free, and honor their recipient with glee.
Bonds: I am of the land, and the land is of me. Though I know I must, from time to time, I do not relish abandoning the snowy tenderness of the North Pole for warmer climes.
Flaws: Better it be compassion that blunts my thoughts rather than any other quality I might possess, and yet blunt them it does. In the place of every villain, I see only a child punished for their poverty; my mind knows that I am only usually, and not always, correct in this sight, but my heart cares not for such sophistry.
Character Level: bard in the college of creation 3 / runechild sorcerer 6
Inventory
Features & Traits
Multiattack. You can use your bonus action to make an attack with a light weapon (all of them) after you attack with your main weapon.
Deep Miner. You are used to navigating the deep places of the earth. You never get lost in caves or mines if you have either seen an accurate map of them or have been through them before. Furthermore, you are able to scrounge fresh water and food for yourself and as many as five other people each day if you are in a mine or natural caves.
Earth Walk. You can move across difficult terrain without expending extra movement if you are using your walking speed on the ground or a floor.
Merge with Stone. In addition to casting blade ward as normal, you can also cast it as a bonus action four times, regaining all expended uses when you finish a long rest. You can also cast the pass without trace spell with this trait, without requiring a material component. Once you cast that spell with this trait, you can't do so again until you finish a long rest. Charisma is your spellcasting ability for these spells when you cast them with this trait.
Spellcasting. An event in your past, or in the life of a parent or ancestor, left an indelible mark on you, infusing you with arcane magic. This font of magic, whatever its origin, fuels your spells. Building on this foundation, you have learned to untangle and reshape the fabric of reality in harmony with your wishes and music. Your spells are part of your vast repertoire, magic that you can tune to different situations.
Cantrips.
Blade Ward. Abjuration cantrip. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: Self. Components: V, S. Duration: 1 round. You extend your hand and trace a sigil of warding in the air. Until the end of your next turn, you have resistance against bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage dealt by weapon attacks.
Create Bonfire. Conjuration cantrip. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 60 feet. Components: V, S. Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute. You create a bonfire on ground that you can see within range. Until the spell ends, the bonfire fills a 5-foot cube. Any creature in the bonfire’s space when you cast the spell must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take 1d8 2d8 fire damage. A creature must also make the saving throw when it enters the bonfire’s space for the first time on a turn or ends its turn there. At Higher Levels. The spell’s damage increases by 1d8 when you reach 5th level (2d8), 11th level (3d8), and 17th level (4d8).
Mending. Transmutation cantrip. Casting Time: 1 minute. Range: Touch. Components: V, S, M (two lodestones). Duration: Instantaneous. This spell repairs a single break or tear in an object you touch, such as a broken chain link, two halves of a broken key, a torn cloak, or a leaking wineskin. As long as the break or tear is no larger than 1 foot in any dimension, you mend it, leaving no trace of the former damage. This spell can physically repair a magic item or construct, but the spell can’t restore magic to such an object.
Mind Sliver. Enchantment cantrip. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 60 feet. Components: V. Duration: 1 round. You drive a disorienting spike of psychic energy into the mind of one creature you can see within range. The target must succeed on an Intelligence saving throw or take 1d6 2d6 psychic damage and subtract 1d4 from the next saving throw it makes before the end of your next turn. At Higher Levels. This spell’s damage increases by 1d6 when you reach certain levels: 5th level (2d6), 11th level (3d6), and 17th level (4d6).
Mold Earth. Transmutation cantrip. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 30 feet. Components: S. Duration: Instantaneous or 1 hour. You choose a portion of dirt or stone that you can see within range and that fits within a 5-foot cube. You manipulate it in one of the following ways:
If you target an area of loose earth, you can instantaneously excavate it, move it along the ground, and deposit it up to 5 feet away. This movement doesn’t have enough force to cause damage.
You cause shapes, colors, or both to appear on the dirt or stone, spelling out words, creating images, or shaping patterns. The changes last for 1 hour.
If the dirt or stone you target is on the ground, you cause it to become difficult terrain. Alternatively, you can cause the ground to become normal terrain if it is already difficult terrain. This change lasts for 1 hour.
If you cast this spell multiple times, you can have no more than two of its non-instantaneous effects active at a time, and you can dismiss such an effect as an action.
Prestidigitation. Transmutation cantrip. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 10 feet. Components: V, S. Duration: Up to 1 hour. This spell is a minor magical trick that novice spellcasters use for practice. You create one of the following magical effects within range:
You create an instantaneous, harmless sensory effect, such as a shower of sparks, a puff of wind, faint musical notes, or an odd odor.
You instantaneously light or snuff out a candle, a torch, or a small campfire.
You instantaneously clean or soil an object no larger than 1 cubic foot.
You chill, warm, or flavor up to 1 cubic foot of nonliving material for 1 hour.
You make a color, a small mark, or a symbol appear on an object or a surface for 1 hour.
You create a nonmagical trinket or an illusory image that can fit in your hand and that lasts until the end of your next turn.
If you cast this spell multiple times, you can have up to three of its non-instantaneous effects active at a time, and you can dismiss such an effect as an action.
Sword Burst. Conjuration cantrip. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: Self (5-foot radius). Components: V. Duration: Instantaneous. You create a momentary circle of spectral blades that sweep around you. All other creatures within 5 feet of you must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take 1d6 2d6 force damage. At Higher Levels.. This spell’s damage increases by 1d4 when you reach 5th level (2d6), 11th level (3d6), and 17th level (4d6).
Vicious Mockery. Enchantment cantrip. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 60 feet. Components: V. Duration: Instantaneous. You unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature you can see within range. If the target can hear you (though it need not understand you), it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 1d4 2d4 psychic damage and have disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes before the end of its next turn. At Higher Levels.. This spell’s damage increases by 1d4 when you reach 5th level (2d4), 11th level (3d4), and 17th level (4d4).
Spell Slots. You regain all expended spell slots when you finish a long rest.
Spells Known.
Bane. 1st-level enchantment. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 30 feet. Components: V, S, M (a drop of blood). Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute. Up to three creatures of your choice that you can see within range must make Charisma saving throws. Whenever a target that fails this saving throw makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, the target must roll a d4 and subtract the number rolled from the attack roll or saving throw. At Higher Levels.. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 1st.
Blur. 2nd-level illusion. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: Self. Components: V. Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute. Your body becomes blurred, shifting and wavering to all who can see you. For the duration, any creature has disadvantage on attack rolls against you. An attacker is immune to this effect if it doesn't rely on sight, as with blindsight, or can see through illusions, as with truesight.
Catnap. 3rd-level enchantment. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 30 feet. Components: S, M (a pinch of sand). Duration: 10 minutes. You make a calming gesture, and up to three willing creatures of your choice that you can see within range fall unconscious for the spell’s duration. The spell ends on a target early if it takes damage or someone uses an action to shake or slap it awake. If a target remains unconscious for the full duration, that target gains the benefit of a short rest, and it can’t be affected by this spell again until it finishes a long rest.
Counterspell. 3rd-level abjuration. Casting Time: 1 reaction, which you take when you see a creature within 60 feet of you casting a spell. Range: 60 feet. Components: S. Duration: Instantaneous. You attempt to interrupt a creature in the process of casting a spell. If the creature is casting a spell of 3rd level or lower, its spell fails and has no effect. If it is casting a spell of 4th level or higher, make an ability check using your spellcasting ability. The DC equals 10 + the spell’s level. On a success, the creature’s spell fails and has no effect. At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the interrupted spell has no effect if its level is less than or equal to the level of the spell slot you used.
Cure Wounds. 1st-level evocation. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: Touch. Components: V, S. Duration: Instantaneous. A creature you touch regains a number of hit points equal to 1d8 + your spellcasting ability modifier. This spell has no effect on undead or constructs. At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st.
Dissonant Whispers. 1st-level enchantment. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 60 feet. Components: V. Duration: Instantaneous. You whisper a discordant melody that only one creature of your choice within range can hear, wracking it with terrible pain. The target must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, it takes 3d6 psychic damage and must immediately use its reaction, if available, to move as far as its speed allows away from you. The creature doesn’t move into obviously dangerous ground, such as a fire or a pit. On a successful save, the target takes half as much damage and doesn’t have to move away. A deafened creature automatically succeeds on the save. At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.
Dust Devil. 2nd-level conjuration. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 60 feet. Components: V, S, M (a pinch of dust). Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute. Choose an unoccupied 5-foot cube of air that you can see within range. An elemental force that resembles a dust devil appears in the cube and lasts for the spell’s duration. Any creature that ends its turn within 5 feet of the dust devil must make a Strength saving throw. On a failed save, the creature takes 1d8 bludgeoning damage and is pushed 10 feet away. On a successful save, the creature takes half as much damage and isn’t pushed. As a bonus action, you can move the dust devil up to 30 feet in any direction. If the dust devil moves over sand, dust, loose dirt, or small gravel, it sucks up the material and forms a 10-foot-radius cloud of debris around itself that lasts until the start of your next turn. The cloud heavily obscures its area. At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 2nd.
Enlarge/Reduce. 2nd-level transmutation. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 30 feet. Components: V, S, M (a pinch of powdered iron). Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute. You cause a creature or an object you can see within range to grow larger or smaller for the duration. Choose either a creature or an object that is neither worn nor carried. If the target is unwilling, it can make a Constitution saving throw. On a success, the spell has no effect. If the target is a creature, everything it is wearing and carrying changes size with it. Any item dropped by an affected creature returns to normal size at once.
Enlarge. The target’s size doubles in all dimensions, and its weight is multiplied by eight. This growth increases its size by one category ~ from Medium to Large, for example. If there isn’t enough room for the target to double its size, the creature or object attains the maximum possible size in the space available. Until the spell ends, the target also has advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws. The target’s weapons also grow to match its new size. While these weapons are enlarged, the target’s attack with them deal 1d4 extra damage.
Reduce. The target’s size is halved in all dimensions, and its weight is reduced to one-eighth of normal. This reduction decreases its size by one category ~ from Medium to Small, for example. Until the spell ends, the target also has disadvantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws. The target’s weapons also shrink to match its new size. While these weapons are reduced, the target’s attacks with them deal 1d4 less damage (this can’t reduce the damage below 1).
Pass Without Trace. 2nd-level abjuration. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: Self. Components: V, S, M (ashes from a burned leaf of mistletoe and a sprig of spruce). Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour. A veil of shadows and silence radiates from you, masking you and your companions from detection. For the duration, each creature you choose within 30 feet of you (including you) has a +10 bonus to Dexterity (Stealth) checks and can’t be tracked except by magical means. A creature that receives this bonus leaves behind no tracks or other traces of its passage.
Pyrotechnics. 2nd-level transmutation. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 60 feet. Components: V, S. Duration: Instantaneous. Choose an area of flame that you can see and that can fit within a 5-foot cube within range. You can extinguish the fire in that area, and you create either fireworks or smoke.
Fireworks. The target explodes with a dazzling display of colors. Each creature within 10 feet of the target must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or become blinded until the end of your next turn.
Smoke. Thick black smoke spreads out from the target in a 20-foot radius, moving around corners. The area of the smoke is heavily obscured. The smoke persists for 1 minute or until a strong wind disperses it.
Shatter. 2nd-level evocation. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 60 feet. Components: V, S, M (a chip of mica). Duration: Instantaneous. A sudden loud ringing noise, painfully intense, erupts from a point of your choice within range. Each creature in a 10-foot-radius sphere centered on that point must make a Constitution saving throw. A creature takes 3d8 thunder damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. A creature made of inorganic material such as stone, crystal, or metal has disadvantage on this saving throw. A nonmagical object that isn’t being worn or carried also takes the damage if it’s in the spell’s area. At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 2nd.
Silvery Barbs. 1st-level enchantment. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 60 feet. Components: V. Duration: Instantaneous. You magically distract the triggering creature and turn its momentary uncertainty into encouragement for another creature. The triggering creature must reroll the d20 and use the lower roll. You can then choose a different creature you can see within range (you can choose yourself). The chosen creature has advantage on the next attack roll, ability check, or saving throw it makes within 1 minute. A creature can be empowered by only one use of this spell at a time.
Stinking Cloud. 3rd-level conjuration. Casting Time: 1 action. Range: 90 feet. Components: V, S, M (a rotten egg or several skunk cabbage leaves). Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute. You create a 20-foot-radius sphere of yellow, nauseating gas centered on a point within range. The cloud spreads around corners, and its area is heavily obscured. The cloud lingers in the air for the duration. Each creature that is completely within the cloud at the start of its turn must make a Constitution saving throw against poison. On a failed save, the creature spends its action that turn retching and reeling. Creatures that don’t need to breathe or are immune to poison automatically succeed on this saving throw. A moderate wind (at least 10 miles per hour) disperses the cloud after 4 rounds. A strong wind (at least 20 miles per hour) disperses it after 1 round.
Spellcasting Ability. Charisma is your spellcasting ability for your bard and sorcerer spells. The power of your magic relies on your ability to project your will into the world, coming from the heart and soul you pour into the performance of your music or oration. You use your Charisma whenever a spell refers to your spellcasting ability. In addition, you use your Charisma modifier when setting the saving throw DC for a bard or sorcerer spell you cast and when making an attack roll with one.
Ritual Casting. You can cast any bard spell you know as a ritual if that spell has the ritual tag. The same is NOT true of sorcerer spells.
Spellcasting Focus. You can use a musical instrument as a spellcasting focus for your bard spells and an arcane focus as a spellcasting focus for your sorcerer spells.
Bardic Inspiration. You can inspire others through stirring words or music. To do so, you use a bonus action on your turn to choose one creature other than yourself within 60 feet of you who can hear you. That creature gains one Bardic Inspiration die, a d6. Once within the next 10 minutes, the creature can roll the die and add the number rolled to one ability check, attack roll, or saving throw it makes. The creature can wait until after it rolls the d20 before deciding to use the Bardic Inspiration die, but must decide before the DM says whether the roll succeeds or fails. Once the Bardic Inspiration die is rolled, it is lost. A creature can have only one Bardic Inspiration die at a time. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier (a minimum of once = 3). You regain any expended uses when you finish a long rest. if a creature has a Bardic Inspiration die from you and casts a spell that restores hit points or deals damage, the creature can roll that die and choose a target affected by the spell. Add the number rolled as a bonus to the hit points regained or the damage dealt. The Bardic Inspiration die is then lost. Whenever you give a creature a Bardic Inspiration die, you can utter a note from the Song of Creation to create a Tiny mote of potential, which orbits within 5 feet of that creature. The mote is intangible and invulnerable, and it lasts until the Bardic Inspiration die is lost. The mote looks like a musical note, a star, a flower, or another symbol of art or life that you choose. When the creature uses the Bardic Inspiration die, the mote provides an additional effect based on whether the die benefits an ability check, an attack roll, or a saving throw, as detailed below:
Ability Check. When the creature rolls the Bardic Inspiration die to add it to an ability check, the creature can roll the Bardic Inspiration die again and choose which roll to use, as the mote pops and emits colorful, harmless sparks for a moment.
Attack Roll. Immediately after the creature rolls the Bardic Inspiration die to add it to an attack roll against a target, the mote thunderously shatters. The target and each creature of your choice that you can see within 5 feet of it must succeed on a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC or take thunder damage equal to the number rolled on the Bardic Inspiration die.
Saving Throw. Immediately after the creature rolls the Bardic Inspiration die and adds it to a saving throw, the mote vanishes with the sound of soft music, causing the creature to gain temporary hit points equal to the number rolled on the Bardic Inspiration die plus your Charisma modifier (minimum of 1 temporary hit point).
Song of Rest. You can use soothing music or oration to help revitalize your wounded allies during a short rest. If you or any friendly creatures who can hear your performance regain hit points at the end of the short rest by spending one or more Hit Dice, each of those creatures regains an extra 1d6 hit points.
Performance of Creation. As an action, you can channel the magic of the Song of Creation to create one nonmagical item of your choice worth no more than 60 gp and of Medium size or smaller in an unoccupied space within 10 feet of you. The item must appear on a surface or in a liquid that can support it. The item glimmers softly, and a creature can faintly hear music when touching it. The created item disappears after four hours. Once you create an item with this feature, you can't do so again until you finish a long rest, unless you expend a spell slot of 2nd level or higher to use this feature again. You can have only one item created by this feature at a time; if you use this action and already have an item from this feature, the first one immediately vanishes.
Sigilic Augmentation. You can channel your runes to temporarily bolster your physical capabilities. You can expend a charged rune as a bonus action to enhance either your Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution, granting you advantage on ability checks with the chosen ability score until the start of your next turn. You can choose to maintain this benefit for additional rounds by expending a charged rune at the start of each of your following turns.
Manifest Inscriptions. You can reveal hidden glyphs and enchantments that surround you. As an action, you can expend a charged rune to cause any hidden magical marks, runes, wards, or glyphs within 15 feet of you to reveal themselves with a glow for 1 round. This glow is considered dim light for a 5 foot radius around the mark or glyph.
Font of Magic. You tap into a deep wellspring of magic within yourself. This wellspring is represented by sorcery points, which allow you to create a variety of magical effects. You have 6 sorcery points. You can never have more sorcery points than that. You regain all spent sorcery points when you finish a long rest.
Creating Spell Slots. You can transform unexpended sorcery points into one spell slot as a bonus action on your turn. The Creating Spell Slots table shows the cost of creating a spell slot of a given level. You can create spell slots no higher in level than 5th. Any spell slot you create with this feature vanishes when you finish a long rest.
Converting a Spell Slot to Sorcery Points. As a bonus action on your turn, you can expend one spell slot and gain a number of sorcery points equal to the slot's level.
Magical Guidance. You can tap into your inner wellspring of magic to try and conjure success from failure. When you make an ability check that fails, you can spend 1 sorcery point to reroll the d20, and you must use the new roll, potentially turning the failure into a success.
Charge Runes. As a bonus action, you may spend any number of sorcery points to convert an equal number of essence runes into charged runes. If you have no sorcery points and no charged runes, you can convert a single essence rune into a charged rune as an action.
Empowered Spell. When you roll damage for a spell, you can spend 1 sorcery point to reroll a number of the damage dice up to your Charisma modifier (minimum of one). You must use the new rolls. You can use Empowered Spell even if you have already used a different Metamagic option during the casting of the spell.
Heightened Spell. When you cast a spell that forces a creature to make a saving throw to resist its effects, you can spend 3 sorcery points to give one target of the spell disadvantage on its first saving throw made against the spell.
Lucky. You have inexplicable luck that seems to kick in at just the right moment. You have 3 luck points. Whenever you make an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw, you can spend one luck point to roll an additional d20. You can choose to spend one of your luck points after you roll the die, but before the outcome is determined. You choose which of the d20s is used for the attack roll, ability check, or saving throw. You can also spend one luck point when an attack roll is made against you. Roll a d20 and then choose whether the attack uses the attacker's roll or yours. If more than one creature spends a luck point to influence the outcome of a roll, the points cancel each other out; no additional dice are rolled. You regain your expended luck points when you finish a long rest.
Essence Runes. Your body has begun to express your innate magical energies as natural runes that hide beneath your skin. You begin with 1 Essence Rune, and gain an additional rune whenever you gain a level in this class. Runes can manifest anywhere on your body, though the first usually manifests on the forehead. They remain invisible when inert. At the end of a turn where you spent any number of sorcery points for any of your class features, an equal number of essence runes glow with stored energy, becoming charged runes. If you expend a charged rune to use one of your Runechild features, it returns to being an inert essence rune. If you have 5 or more charged runes, you emit bright light in a 5 foot radius and dim light for an additional 5 feet. Any charged runes revert to inert essence runes after you complete a long rest.
Glyphs of Aegis. You can release the stored arcane power within your runes to absorb or deflect threatening attacks against you. Whenever you take damage from an attack, hazard, or spell, you can use a reaction to expend any number of charged runes, rolling 1d6 per charged rune. You subtract the total rolled from the damage inflicted by the attack, hazard, or spell.
Bloodwell Vial +1. To attune to this vial, you must place a few drops of your blood into it. The vial can't be opened while your attunement to it lasts. If your attunement to the vial ends, the contained blood turns to ash. In addition, when you roll any Hit Dice to recover hit points while you are carrying the vial, you can regain 5 sorcery points. This property of the vial can't be used again until the next dawn.
Physical Description
Lumpen has flesh, soft and grayish-pink, like any other mortal, let you not be mistaken about that. Depending on the light, that skin can look either like half-cooked meat left uneaten on the plate too long or like the last dying bits of a fire as you drowse into dream. You could be forgiven for forgetting the presence of this skin, however, as chunks of matte black coal sprout hulking and hunkering from that flesh, all over, obscuring its very presence. The genasi regularly cracks these lumps off of nix body to give as gifts or set to orbiting around someone. Some of these hydrocarbonic bits gleam with oil-slick rainbows, all blue and metallic color, peacock coal decorating the dirty dullness.
Nix eyes burn orange red, deep within the crevasses nay calls eye-sockets, matched in their intensity and in the way their glow seems to knead space-time by the six burning letters etched on nix cliffside of a forehead to spell out N A U G H T. Whenever nay charges an essence rune, one of these letters flickers into ashen invisibility, the fire dying. First to disappear is the first of the letters, leaving A U G H T upon nix brow. Then the last letter flickers away to spell only A U G H , and then the first again for U G H. Next to disappear is the middle letter, so that the letters say U H. When there is only one letter remaining, it says only U, and then when every essence rune has been charged, that letter disappears and off to (the viewer’s) right, a new letter appears over the outside tip of Lumpen’s eyebrow: Y.
The genasi humps small, two-thirds the height of a tall man, nix features all rough and vague and oversized in odd, unbalanced places. Nay breathes and speaks in puffs of coal dust, matching the smudge that seems to stain everything nay touches, nears, or even passes vaguely by, and nix voice is rough and dry, such that it hurts fleshier ears to hear nix croaking words.
Background
Lumpen Peebles's voice was a smoker's scratch, deep and rumbling, peppered with sharp snaps muffled as if by distance. It was impossible to discern whether those snaps were like the flaking of mica on a titanic scale, portions of mountains succumbing to their own weight and lack of support, or embers dancing their popping, jumping dance. Many who hear nix words wince in empathy for the pain talking like that would cause an organic throat.
"Bob Cratchett wasn't a guilty man," nay said. "He didn't ask Ebenezer for a piece of coal because he thought of himself as naughty, nor did Mr. Scrooge deny him for some imagined nicehood. Bob was merely cold, and poor, and reliant on a rich man's gifts to stave off the chill which marks the deepest ring of Hell where Dante placed the betrayers. The fruit of my flesh ~"
Nay broke off a chunk of coal from nix elbow and placed it among a small pool of the matte black powder that had settled on the table from nix breath.
"~ for three centuries had been a prized gift. You know who thinks of coal as a punitive disappointment? People with an expectation of a warm house on Christmas Day and no need to filth themself with the business of heating it. The naughty once received ashes, and switches cut from springy stingy birch. I and my whole family were honored workers among all the North Pole's syndics, standing beside the reindeerfolk teamsters and the elfin craftsmen. We were proud to do the work Santa asked us to do so long ago."
A flick of a heavy finger sent the lump on the table skidding in your direction before the genasi's forearm caught a grief-weighted cheek. The word N A U G H T burned like banked embers on Lumpen's forehead as nay loosed a soot-heavy sigh.
"It is a mercy, indeed, to punish the naughty with a warmed house rather than a tree-borne threat, but mercy is no gift. Gifts are free. This mercy comes at a cost. I am that cost, and my family (though they won't say so) are that cost, and so too are those who still wish for a warmed house from Santa every year for Christmas."
❄❄❄
For centuries, the Peebles family has had their names on the nice list, in exchange for their eternal service. Coal grown from their bodies was more easily available and abundant than that which hid in the mountains, jealously gripping the stone around it. Coal was a prized gift back then, but about a century ago, that began to shift. Coal, dirty and filthy and making pea-soup of London’s beautiful fog-veil, was replacing the wooden switches that once were given to the naughty.
Santa said that it was part of his plans to bring mercy to the holiday, having phased out Krampus and the like by offering those monsters vacation time and yearly bonuses and flattering their own sloth. These punishers of the wicked reveled in their reduced workload, pleased at being a threat only to most and a torturer of only a few select, truly naughty individuals. Now, Santa said, the time had come to punish with reward, to give warmed houses to the naughty so that they may not need to continue their bad ways.
That didn’t seem like a punishment to young Lumpen, and yet Santa and his elfin lieutenants and even sweet old Mrs. Claus, the North pole’s very own PR agent, all described it always as a new punishment.
The Peebles’ fine legacy of service was not one of punishment.
Lumpen spent a decade thinking on this affront, this paradox. Nix thoughts turned back always to these supposed naughty individuals to whom his own flesh was being given. Nay must be like them, surely? After all, they were united in moralizing and behavior modification. Lumpen turned to the North Pole Records and Archival Administration Center, and saw all too often that the gift of coal would come not as punishment but as welcome present, as compassionate aid.
Then one night, drunk on Rudolph’s secret moonshine stash, an impulsive Lumpen Peebles found noneself sneaking into the room where Santa kept the naughty and nice lists. The old man hadn’t checked them even once that year, let alone twice. A clandestine tear and a quickly smudged scrawl of a name later and “Lumpen Peebles” appeared on only one list, that of the naughty. Nay left Santa’s Workshop that night, taking up residence in an ice-cave some miles away to figure out what to do now that Lumpen had walked away from Omelas.
Inspirational Playlist
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uAOHFnpa22FZVztN5Cb4K?si=52e5d95bd17b484d
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